Hunting

When Patience Awor started writing this diary, she was working for an IT firm in the Kampala suburb of Bugolobi. Later she left that job, and has been searching for employment, unsuccessfully, for many months. The lack of suitable formal employment is one reason why she is going back to school this year to earn a post-graduate qualification in Information Security Management. She accepts gigs – from designing websites to baking cookies – “as I continue hunting for a job,” she said.  

Awor, who is twenty-five, hopes she will be more competitive in the IT job market after she completes her studies at the Uganda Management Institute, where she will enroll in July. “I want to specify. Right now [my qualification] is a bit open and I have gotten a challenge while looking for a job,” she told TWR. “I want to go back to school so that if there is a job advert and it has cyber security, I know I fall there.” Her parents will pay for her education. 

Writing this diary, she said, felt beneficial to her. She described it as “a safe place where I can express my feelings.” She said, however, that she regretted that readers might find her life “sad,” with all the painful rawness suggested in her futile search for a job. TWR finds her diary unforgettable as a poignant and lucid account of the life of a young woman who refuses to succumb to the fear emerging from joblessness. Some of her writings are truly spectacular. Like when she describes her father’s morning routine: “My dad still wakes up very early in the morning, goes to his car to start it and warm his battery, walks around and then goes about his day. He sometimes helps around the compound, more so pruning the flowers. He feeds the chicken and also visits the goats. He doesn’t like being idle.” Or when she says of markets in the morning that they “are actually cheaper and easier to deal with because farmers are available and cheap.” As always, the diary is left largely unedited in order to capture her unique voice. – TWR

19/01/25

My day starts at 5 am in the morning. I get up [and] prepare to go to work. I wake up so early because I stay far and I cannot afford to get to work late. In the beginning of my IT career, I was excited that I got a job one week after my graduation party. Everything was going so well. What excited me more was that I was going to start making money! My own money. Haha!! This job came with maturity and a lot of responsibility. My role is to set up a workspace for the employees. That is installing all company software on the laptops, and onboarding employees on how to use the laptops and the company software. Am also supposed to support our stakeholders online and ensure the internet is fast and accessible around the office. I have learnt how to repair laptops, change spare parts like keyboards, monitors, batteries. I have gained experience and confidence in my IT role. I also have another role to play in this organization, which is field oriented. I go to the field and teach [people] about my company’s applications, how to operate smartphones and collect data. This has given me confidence that I’m able to teach a group of people about something IT related.

20/01/25

Tomorrow I have to onboard new employees so I have to prepare a presentation to help guide us through the onboarding. I have also installed Windows 11 Pro on six laptops [and will] work on their Microsoft accounts, install company apps on the phone, [and] teach them how to use the company apps. This presentation will enable me have a smooth onboarding meeting.

24/01/25

Today I was thinking about going back to school to upgrade and specify since the course I studied is open. When I specify I will be able to build my career and have a wide chance to [get] different opportunities. Am thinking about cyber security or software development. I have done a survey from different universities and I am thinking about a diploma in cyber security. All I have to do is save and pay my tuition. This is something I am thinking about and I plan to get there with time. 

27/01/25

I have been thinking for months about starting up a business so that I earn money at least every week. This will support my goal for my weekly saving. I started saving this year; every week I add Shs. 5,000 to the previous amount. My goal is to make Shs 6,800,000. With my salary only I default since the money comes at the end of the month. I have been looking around and I have seen that skincare business is one of the booming businesses ryt now. I have met a lady who teaches about skincare and how to make the products. I have bought a sample and I will try it out before I buy their products. She will be my supplier. All I will do is brand the products.

1/02/25

One thing I have seen is that you [must] have an open mind in order to achieve your dreams. I keep praying for a financial breakthrough. I think about the day I will not have to worry about bills and my account being empty. Am working but also looking for other ways to make ends meet cause salary alone isn’t enough. I have my savings of about Shs. 2 [million] and I am officially opening my business. I pray God blesses me through this new journey. I have a lot of time after work and weekends to focus on my business. Am also going to mainly market on social media, that is TikTok and WhatsApp.

5/02/25

Work is going on well, but there are some changes happening that need me to take another role to support my employer, which is sales. I will do IT support mainly but also support the sales team since they are understaffed. It’s a bit challenging but if you are asked to do something for the organization, there is no way to turn it down.

8/02/25

Am focusing on marketing my small business and ensuring that I reach a large number of people. Am getting support from a friend of mine who has a large support following on TikTok. I hope to get customers from that. Btw, the business is open officially and the name is after my mother – Grace African Beauty. Very excited.

26/02/25

This week my skincare business has made a good number of sales. I was able to sell coffee scrubs and shower gels. This has been my best performing week.

3/03/25

Today is Monday. I came back from work at around 10:00 pm because of the jam. As soon as I got home, I had to pack orders for my customers that wanted skincare products. I placed stickers and packaged them in shopping bags. Btw, I did the branding stickers packaging. I’ve invested a lot of time, thought and my savings in this, hoping for the best. About work today, I did not have a lot of IT-related work. Nothing extra, so I focused on the sales support I was asked to offer.

8/03/25

Today is Saturday. Weekends always get me reflecting and thinking. I have been working for three years and a half and I had goals I set back in 2022. One of the goals was [to] save big but finances have been unstable and that’s why I have opened a business to get money to support my saving weekly. Am also moving around home today, telling the community about my products and just getting the word out there. I carried some products to show customers… All in the effort to convince them. I was able to convince people who bought three combs for Shs. 50,000. I feel good that I have control over my business and I keep learning from it every day. I make sure I separate the capital from the profits. I then re-invest the capital and also add part of the profits back into the business, and the other portion of the profits is for my saving. I have also taken note [of] my losses and what I need to change. I have taken note of my mistakes. Business needs a lot of attention and also commands a lot of responsibility. I would not have known about this until now. I keep learning.

16/03/25

I haven’t sold anything this week. Business has become slow but I want to use this Easter period to sell products at a discount. I want to reduce the package of Shs. 50,000 to Shs. 45,000 to try and boost sales but also stay within the profit range.

11/04/25

Three whole businesses I have tried in [my] the quest of becoming financially stable at some point. Am desperate, that’s all I call it. I wake up early morning wondering how am going to get close to what I hope my future should be like.

4/08/25

Am angry because I take five steps forward and four steps back. I got an opportunity to be a manager of a small business, a plastics company. Very small pay but I liked [it] because I preferred the idea of waking up early in the morning and going to work instead of being in bed all day sad and soaking my head in thoughts. 

5/09/25

“Money, if I catch you.” Hahaha! It’s a phrase I keep saying in my mind and joke about with my family. The problem is money. I believe many issues can be solved with money. For me it even changes my mood.

9/10/25

Am excited today because I made some money that is going to get me most of the things that I need and also keep pocket change. Today my sister called because she needed extra hands with her business as a juice service provider on Independence Day. I loved that I got out of bed, left an environment am sick and tired of cause it’s like everything is still. Home makes me sick and depressed. So back to the good news, I made money today, good money. All in all it’s a happy day.

15/03/26

Today I can’t help but wonder when the day will come for me to get close to what I have dreamed my life would be. Am always going back to the drawing board, I question myself if what am doing is right. Am not rushing myself, am not impatient. I just feel it’s taking so long. I wake up every morning hoping but I go to bed weak, sad and demotivated. I have to keep all my strength for the next day and the cycle continues. I want the same things I see people around me gaining or achieving and am trying so hard to keep fighting but I get weak too. Who can I show my pain, frustration, restlessness without cutting me short and telling me God has a plan? No doubt he has a plan for me but I am human. Whom can I speak to and not feel judged? I keep it all in?

19/03/26

There was a time when I wanted a job that could give me at least Shs. 250,000 and I got one, but I realized that wasn’t enough to get me essentials that a girl needs every month, and I quit. I have tried multiple businesses. We get desperate because times are hard. Then the only thing that comes to mind is prayer. And then you advise yourself to be patient, pray and keep applying for jobs. Then when you wake up feeling low, you get mad at yourself and everyone around you, and you hate life. When you see everyone around you winning, you get mad and sad. Then I go back to God and pray for strength so that I am able to go through these issues.

25/03/26

Is giving up an option? Today feels like one of those days when I let my problems overpower me. No motivation, so lazy, so weak, loss of appetite. What am I doing wrong? I have accepted jobs without thinking much about the pay or even the nature of the job, thinking that when God sees how humble I have become and how welcoming I am of the current situation, he will bless me and maybe my situation will change.

26/03/26

The difficulty in depending on someone and people around! Having to explain why I need something and evaluating if it’s necessary to be given or not is really painful. Right now I have no job or stable source of income, but I have to keep my head above the water somehow. Having no money, no job, can really stress. You reach a point when you forego things you actually need… I get all kinds of thoughts, what can I do to get stable, get money to take care of myself. I do not have the heart and mind to think about asking guys interested in me [for] money. I want to do things the right way. I pray God blesses me with a job so that I am able to take good care of myself. 

27/03/26

Mental health is real, and trying to protect myself from getting anxious and getting depressed. I talk to myself every day, look into the mirror and tell myself one day everything will fall in place and everything will be alright. I do not want to be unhealthy or depressed. I have my days when I’m on a low and I cry and fail to leave bed, but then I wake up and keep pushing because I know not every condition is permanent. Giving up isn’t an option, times are hard but sitting down worrying won’t change anything. I have to keep my mind thinking about how I get to a point when everything is working out, God.

28/03/26

Having a full-time job that’s really promising and able to help take care of myself and dream of a better future to losing my job [and] then applying for jobs online continuously and all you get is rejection emails or no response at all to thinking how am going to be able to support myself while I continue the job hunting? My skincare business was moving on well until my supplier disappeared, baking cakes and cookies and selling at workplaces, but the thing is people have big brands they are loyal to. All this is struggle that comes with silent battles, tears, sleepless nights and self-doubt. 

29/03/26

No one is actually really willing to support me and those that are able to support can’t really take in the whole situation. They need me to be okay, strong, positive, happy. I break down in silence because I keep asking myself questions like am I good enough, do I deserve this, am I too impatient? That’s what society does to us. It breaks you by the expectations demanded [of] you. I want to do this right. I want to work, wake up, go do what I love and live a life that is promising, not stay home, ask for basic requirements of life. Even though it is not said, it becomes a burden helping someone at some point.

01/04/26

Am looking forward to school this year. Since am having issues securing an IT job, I believe studying further in the Information Technology sector will give me more chances to secure a job. So I applied for a post-graduate diploma in Information Security Management. I’m excited for this. My semester begins in July. Since I have a lot of time, I have actually organized my notebooks, have a laptop, hahaha, it’s the calendar delaying me.

02/04/26

My boyfriend is really supportive and today is one of those days I feel lucky. I needed to go to town because I have a meeting and I wasn’t doing well financially, so he decided to give me transport and he told me to call him in case I needed anything.

3/04/26

I was watching news with my dad that sparked a debate. A friendly one but so argumentative. How safe are kids at school? That’s what the debate was about, we could not agree because he is a bit old-fashioned and not ready to accept change. My dad is a clan head and I rarely have time with him. So when he is around and free I must talk to him and at least see how he is doing. He travels back and forth a lot. These arguments fill the space or days we spent without talking. He calls himself a Senior Citizen of Uganda, my brother calls him Big Man. I call him Mr. President. These names make him smile every time we call him.  Life after retirement as a public servant, I have watched my father adjust to it but it’s not been easy. I understand when people say that when you work you are healthy, but as soon as you retire sickness comes in and even early death. My dad still wakes up very early in the morning, goes to his car to start it and warm his battery, walks around and then goes about his day. He sometimes helps around the compound, more so pruning the flowers. He feeds the chicken and also visits the goats. He doesn’t like being idle.

4/04/26

I have an order to prepare – drinks and small bites for a wedding meeting that is to take place today at Centenary Park. So my client wants cookies, chapatis, samosas and fresh coconut juice, orange and passion juice and mango [juice]. I woke up at 6:00 am and prepared then left for the market (Kalerwe) to buy fresh fruits and also buy plastic packaging for how am going to package my order. Markets early morning are actually cheaper and easier to deal with because farmers are available and cheap. I came back home and started preparing my fruits, at around 10:00 am. I also had to start baking the cookies, but that is easy because I had made my cookie dough the previous day and stored it in the fridge. It’s just a matter of heating the oven at 180 degrees and baking for 25 minutes. I have to multitask because the meeting starts at 3:00 pm. My mum decided to help me because I’m multitasking and I almost overbaked the first batch of cookies. I start blending my juice and packing it then put it in a freezer so that it’s ice-cold by the time my customers are enjoying. 

5/04/26

Easter Sunday, a good family day. Such days bring us together. My mum woke me up so that I can bake some cookies for dessert. She also trusts my judgement when it comes to what dishes to prepare for my dad. He woke up and went to church while we started cooking, playing music, children playing and running all over the place. My siblings who are married came around and it was a very bright day.

6/04/26

Today I had to go fit into the dress for my friend’s wedding since am among the bridesmaids. I used a boda-boda from home to the tailor’s shop because I overslept. But what is interesting is that me and the bridesmaids have no say about any of the clothes, designs, color, hairstyles and shoes that we are supposed to wear.

7/04/26

Am going with my dad to the hospital for his general checkup. But as we were traveling, we found an accident that occurred very early morning and it made me realize that our services are still lacking in the health sector.  Someone lay by the roadside lifeless and all people could do is stare and look around without anyone trying to help. It’s absurd. Anyway, so we got to the hospital, followed the queue, and saw the doctor [who] checked his blood pressure, sugar and everything went well. I feel happy and calm that he is doing well because he is 65 years of age.

8/04/26

My uncle is admitted to the hospital. He has an enlarged heart and water is developing in his lungs. It worrying us a lot and everyone is going to visit him at the hospital. Some of our relatives in the village are traveling to Kampala to come visit him and pray for him. Today I woke up at midnight to pray to God to heal my uncle because many people benefit from him and it will hurt my mother a lot if she loses her big brother. He still takes care of my mum even in their old age. The news also found my mum in the village, but she used a night bus and she is already in the hospital taking care of her brother.

10/04/26

I had a dream about my brother and sister. In the dream, my brother and sister were sharing responsibilities but one day my brother came back home and he was sad. He told me and my sister that he had lost his job. We felt bad for him and my sister started worrying too because the responsibility was hers alone. When I woke up, I prayed and rebuked the dream. I do not want my brother to lose his job. I also called my mother and sister and we prayed about it over the phone.

11/04/26

Weekends are for functions, more so weddings. Today I am ushering at a wedding. Today’s wedding has taken me to a five-star hotel in Kampala. I love these gigs because they expose you to a certain side of lifestyle or expose you to luxurious things. I reach the hotel on time and go to the reception. We have a brief meeting and then wear our uniforms and wait until the guests begin arriving. I love doing these gigs because of the experience and of course because of the money.

13/04/26

I had a supporting conversation with my boyfriend today. I was feeling down, so when he called to check on me he told me not to overthink and worry. And also to thank God for what I have. He also told me to ask for help in case I need any. Since am beginning school in two months’ time, he has given me a laptop to use since am studying an IT course. He is very supportive and I appreciate all he does for me.

14/04/26

I do not have anything to do today, but we have to find a way of making today fruitful or busy. So I decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in three different flavors. Red velvet, chocolate and butter cookies. After I completed baking them, I posted on my status and I was able to get two orders. I called my boda-boda guy who delivered the orders to my customers. Day well spent.

15/4/26

Today my mother, who is in the village supervising people in her gardens, got an issue with my auntie. My father tried calling my mum but she didn’t pick his calls, so he called his sister who took the phone to my mum. After they talked, my mother handed her back the phone. But today morning [my aunt] started crying and telling people around that my mother has lost her phone. My mum called my big sister [and asked] her to replace the auntie’s phone to avoid spoiling her name. I also talked to my dad to speak to his sister to change her behavior. The issue is not really the phone. These village people are angry with my father because he doesn’t just send them money unless it’s a serious issue. But even if we go to the village, these people cannot give you a chicken or cock or food to welcome you. And yet my dad and mum carry soap, sugar, tea leaves and more. They are unsupportive relatives. They steal and sell my father’s cows and claim that they were knocked down. So we have decided to buy her a new phone and watch how everything plays out.  ▪