Her mouth was painted with what they wished was milk
(2023)
Mother lies on the floor,
her mouth painted with white foam.
In a room twenty steps away
her daughter curses Mother for denying her
the right to waste her life at a party.
The maid picks spice jars
from the pantry. When she sees Mother, they drop –
paprika, masala, and pepper. They season
mother’s body. The maid screams — loud
enough to end Father’s dream. What’s the matter, woman?
The maid responds with more screams.
The daughter, realizing that her wish has come
true, rushes to her mother’s side, stops in her tracks
and falls apart like an infirm house. Her mind is a pile
of rubble. She scours it for anything but
finds nothing except the truth: I killed her. Her eyes water.
Father runs to the scene only to see his daughter wiping
what they wished was milk off his wife’s mouth.
He pleads with God: Take me instead but the response
is silence. They clean Mother’s body, wishing to return
it to its former glory. Breathing.
Letting Go
(2023)
Martha, the only girl I had eyes for, texted, We’re over
as I headed home after my mother’s funeral
service. My eyes stayed locked on the grey message
bubble, searching for the subtext to We’re over.
I didn’t find it so I asked my heart and mind
for advice. They said: Tell her.
Why? I still love you, I typed. My eyes darted around
the car in search of a distraction just like my mother’s
eyes gazed around the doctor’s room after he checked her
heart rate. My heart sank when Martha replied, Just.
The subtext was clear: I don’t love you. I recalled the doctor
telling my mother, Your heart is weak. Which meant,
You’re going to die soon. A dagger ripped through my heart
then just like it did as I re-read Martha’s text. Through the car
window I watched clouds pursue us and I thought, How clingy
until I realized I too was chasing after someone
who didn’t want to be pursued.